Sunday, August 8, 2010

August Moon Last Crescent Rising - 2nd coming for me

My 2nd pass of Saturn over my natal Saturn - a Saturn Birthday - every 30 or so years - was last eve. As I view the last crescent moon rising 2 hours before the sun today, I say good by to the old and the await the new, that is dawning all around me - tomorrow is the New Moon, NO rising crescent then. Today, in the dark sky, this one was beautiful.

My new life here on the blue planet is filling daily with more Universal Unconditional Love,
as I practice the Small Universe Meditation of asking for this to unfold more. As it does so, even after 59 + 3/4 years, I find more ways I am inflexible, and discovering in the Light of Love more ways to be more Kind, Loving, forgiving -

Susan entered spirit on April 3, just 20 days after the last posting...
The "missing" of my wonderful partners' companionship is not 'gone'
- It has changed, transformed ~
- I am learning to enjoy her company from her new life "over there" as I am included in it - like a good friend who lives in a far off country. I am happy being a "God parent" to her family there ~ (I'm really not sure where "there" is at present).

Peace to you
Love to you
Friendship to you
Reminder to us all to practice our daily intake move it around, and share with others
    ~ to help ourselves and others heal.

Saturn - soul form - has brought me the two gifts foretold when I was 18, of two books - published - now I can write them - doing this 'work' will be joy
The first will  be on "Love" the second on "Grief"  

Susan's Saturn return of 5 years ago: changed a relationship she had for 25 years and I showed up to share her life, to help her transition to spirit. I did my very best.  My Saturn return was to help her into spirit - I Love her - wishing her the very best;  to write, and learn to really Love, to heal,  and help others Love and heal.I did not know she would leave this soon, I really believed I would enjoy her company - me as care giver for a year more.

Susan taught me to Love in ways I never dreamed - I was very touchy-feely - she was not, I was very talky - she was not, I wanted to be around her all the time, she did not.
Love was the result, because I was willing (sort of anyway) to find the real Love - not get hung up on it's expression in a certain way.

Susan who didn't cry taught me to cry ( I didn't before) - but not of loss - of Love.

Grief is book two, Love is the way through this one, everyone does it their way, some by hatred and anger, some by withdrawal, laughing, running around with new partners, denial, taking control, bossyness, ignoring, and in more ways than we can imagine. We all need forgiveness, the universal Unconditional Love. Knowledge helps, Gigong helps me the most - transmuting energy - grief is an energy, just like tumors it can be transformed into helpful energy.

Chunyi's ordeal growing up in during the Communist revolution in China was 5 years of hard labor on rural farms - sometimes carrying 500 # logs with only another on steep slippery slopes, with very little food - some uneatable. His ordeal left him in rage or deep anger with sever depression. ( See "Born A Healer" ) Qigong opened his heart - permitting him to forgive the unforgivable, to let in the Love and to feel it again.

My burdens are the result of grief, and hardness of convictions: "my way or the Highway" . Susan taught me trust her way - for it was her path, and to Love her for choosing it. Though my "ordeal" is nothing compared to "Chunyi's, I have discovered that my "hardness" is just as concrete, the Grief is a gift - a  key - one to welcome and listen to and LOVE- to allow it work to feel it, experience it - for is unlocking and opening the the blast proof doors I have had in place to hide the tunnel to the Universal Light of Unconditional Love.  Probably shut because of unwillingness to experience Grief long ago, or my part in it - or....?

For it is in surrendering to this Universe of Light & Love that we are free, never alone, healed and helping others to heal.  What wonderful place to be, even at ground zero!
thank goodness I didn't need that one to open me up.

Gee maybe we can help the ones who were there? !!!

Grief for me is not a wall -- It is a doorway...

It moves me to go find the solutions I would not have sought out before.

Cheery Day... I Love You